just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
