is your mom at the bar?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
