i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
