i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
