We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
