if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's shark week go big or go home
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
