I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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