I showed him my bush... on skype.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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