you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
