i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
