Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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