Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
