Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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