READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize