everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
