He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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