Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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