with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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