ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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