I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
