Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i think i just lost a toe
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
