Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize