YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i need to put some appletini on your dick
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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