He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She bit a glass in half.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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