her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize