WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
