The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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