Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Come share oat with me in your robe
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
