Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
