with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
