No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
