great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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