I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
