Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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