I have demons in me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Someone came in the potted fern
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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