This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
