I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
