it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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