I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
