i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
