An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
