I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
