this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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