I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
