I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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