Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
