I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
