p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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