I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
how drunk are you?
Several
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
