You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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