He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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