I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
