Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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