Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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