you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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