Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
