I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
