she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
