honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
