dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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