ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
