Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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