a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize