HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my shit smells like andre
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
