You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
