I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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