i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
