if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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