I hate all girls vehemently.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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