Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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