we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize