I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize