He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
