you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
