Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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