all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish there were birth control emojis
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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