No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
