dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
